Automation is key to the success of any business these days. It is defintely seen as a means to cut down costs and make the mundane processes more efficient. Take for instance the customer service centres of any organization. Not long ago, we had the luxury of calling up customer care and shout/flirt with the representative...try doing the same with the modern day automated customer care!! Sounds weird? Well, trust me - it is! But sometimes weird can be fun :)
A little background before I recap my episode:
I was awaiting a mail (package) from an online store where I had purchased an item (lets leave it at "an item"). The store had mailed it through USPS and gave me the tracking number. I waited for a couple of days and looked up USPS website for information on my package. Surprisingly, there was no update from when it was generated. It only said "Shipping info received and label printed". It was unusual becuase the package should have been delivered the same day if everything was normal. So, I decided to call the USPS customer care to find out more on the status of my package and any other information they could divulge as the online tracking page did not seem to have any udpate. I was hoping to talk to a representative after some initial goofing around with the automated support. I dialled the 1 800 XXX XXXX toll free number and ...
"Thank you for calling United States Postal Service...
For delivery status - say "track and confirm"
To Schedule a pickup - say "schedule a pickup"
To order supplies - say "order supplies"
For all other postal information - say "other" "
I seemed to have a straight forward choice - I said "track and confirm" and the sweet voice recognized it and then said
"Please say your label number or tracking number"
I keyed it in.
After taking confirmation from me, it blurted out a status and unsurprisingly, it was the same as what the website had reported. I was hoping that it would then give me an option to talk to a representaive but it did not:
"If you have received the required information, please disconnect the call, else say "Main menu" or press the * key to go back to the Main Menu"
I decided to give it another try and went back to the Main Menu but in vain. Whatever option I chose, I could not get to speak to the customer represntative (dialing "9" or "0" did not work either ;)). I went back and forth again - but always ended up with:
"Please say your label number or tracking number".
Frustrated, I decided to keep mum, hoping that the sweet voice would presume that some dumb idiot who cannot follow Engleeeesh is on the line and transfer me to a representative. But, I was duped again...
"Please say your label number or tracking number"
Me >> Silent
"Please say your label number or tracking number or use the keypad to enter the label/trakcing number"
Me >> Silent
"Please, atleast enter the numeric part of your label number"
Me >> silent.
"I still did not hear anything, disconnecting the call"...click!...krrrrr..
@##!!%&**.. well, before I could realize, the line went dead. That stupid machine had cut me off. I guess, I waaaaaaasssssss a dumb idiot!! At that stage, I was almost at boiling point ...I was going to take the fight to the end ...the war was on and I wanted to teach that sweet lady a thing or two about customer service...determined to win at all costs, I hit redial...
"Thank you for calling United States Postal Service...
For delivery status - say "track and confirm"
To Schedule a pickup - say "schedule a pickup"
To order supplies - say "order supplies"
For all other postal information - say "other"
Me >> Silent
(I had made up my mind to be dumb until it gives up and transfers the call to a representative. One of us had to give in...it was either me or the machine! Last idiot standing wins, you see!!).
It repeated the menu a few times...
For delivery status - say "track and confirm"
To Schedule a pickup - say "schedule a pickup"
To order supplies - say "order supplies"
For all other postal information - say "other"
Me >> Silent
Again, with a slight change (I could feel the desperation in the voice as if it had emotions!)
For delivery status - Dial 1
To Schedule a pickup - Dial 2
To order supplies - Dial 3
For all other postal information - Dial 4
Me >> Silent
"I am sorry, I didnt hear you. Does your question concern international/domestic maling? Please say yes/no" (Felt like it was begging me to speak - say atleast yes/no)
At this point, I did utter a word - "yes"!
It again went back to the loop and I cursed myself for speaking!
"Please say the numeric part of your label number"
ME >> Silent.
"Please enter the numeric part of your label number"
ME >> Silent.
"I am sorry, I still didnt hear anything"."If you are still there, please press 0".
(I am not kidding - it did ask me this!..."are you still there?" - haha, how elated I was to hear that!!) I was enjoying the conversation (or lack of it) at that point, I could feel the desperation in the voice - I wonder if they record it that way. Maybe they modulate the voice based on the number of iterations of the same loop to give it some human touch!
I pressed 0!
"Thank you for your response. I am transferring the call to a customer care representative, please hold"
YES! YESSS!!! - I WON!!!!! Hip Hip Hurrah!!...I beat the machine into submission!!! yesssssssssss!!!
"Hello, this is XXXXX speaking, how may I help you?"
Me >> Hello..who, what?! - I had almost forgotten why I had called - that was the customer care guy. I spoke to him and he also did not have anymore information than what the website had reported. Talk about irony!!!
But I still won against the machine and that had given me enough happiness to forget about the status of my package. I finsihed the call feeling happy for no apparent gain! I sometimes wonder why I get into such weird situations...or maybe they happen to me for a reason!
I am still wondering ...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Blues!
I leaned forward, trying to take a closer look at the hazy figure in front of me...there is something there; My brain (which is half sleepy) just spurts out - what is it? a wrinkle? a worry line? My eyes, still blinded by the light, are struggling to resolve the image - blink!
A brush in hand, I stare into the mirror, my eyes still trying to focus in the glow of the bulb ... sending cryptic signals to my brain about the shadowy figure in front of them; My brain - yes, its still dreaming - happily resting against the comfort of my skull.
No wonder, it took me 2 mins to drag myself from the bed to the washroom!
As I mechanically move my hand to and fro...brushing my teeth, the eyes look up at the hazy relfection in front of them, they are still sleepy and just want to go shut and drift away in to fairyland! ... fairyland ... ahaaa! what a temptation ... and my mind begins to wander! HEY! KNOCK KNOCK!! STOPPPP!... all of a sudden my brain wriggles itself up and is taking control! The bubble is burst and my mind has to stop its flow of thoughts...scrreeeeeaaaccchhhh! POOF!!!!
"U silly mind...Stop it - You are not suppossed to be doing these things now!! Fairlyland, my foot!!! It's a Monday Morning!!!! It's time to SULK!"
Well, there you go ... I am wake to my senses, brushing stopped and still staring at my reflection but with wide open eyes; and yes, that defintiely is a worry line on my forehead :(
Monday Morning blues - aaahhhh!! How I despise those mornings. Every action on a Monday morning tends to be so laborius and there just does not seem to be any energy flowing in the veins. I usually drag myself to office. But there is one thing I always enjoy on a Monday Morning at office - the look on everyone's face! Let me tell you, its immensely pleasurizing to look at people's faces on a monday morning - the look says it all. Can you imagine how you would react if you woke up in the middle of Sahara with just 'a bottle of water' or you jumped of a 'plane in mid flight' and forgot the chute! Well, you dont have to go far to see such expressions, just make sure you drag yourself to work and look up at people's faces on a monday morning. You will definitely see some priceless expressions. It reassures me that I am not the lone lunatic on this planet.
But every now and then, there comes someone and says "Hello! Good Morning" with a broad smile and all of a sudden my brain has to furiously broadcast signals and my entire body has to react to camouflage my internal feelings and successfully return the greeting - "err... Good Morning!". But, internally it's helter skelter inside my body...what a crazy nut (read - sane person). How can someone be so vibrant and cheerul on a Monday Morning! Unless, unless ofcourse, he is in fairlyland :) yes, yes with a few fairies; maybe more than a few fairies...ahem! (There goes my mind again!). Getting back to reality...I still ponder, how is it possible? Why am I not so thrilled about it being a Monday. I don't feel the same on a Tuesday, Wednesday...! What if it is a Monday? Infact my brain starts painting a gloomy picture from Sunday afternoon! Spoilsport!!!
Wanting to get to the bottom of this... I had a private discussion with my brain (read - self introspection). Let me tell you a bit about this guy - he has been with me from the time I can think of (except for the time when I fell in love and got married!!) and has been pretty efficient throughout. After all the analysis, we came to the conclusion that this whole Sunday evening-monday morning blues is nothing but the laziness of the mind in switiching gears! The mind is in a state of inertia and just lazy to switch back to the working mode, it is this friction that causes the blues! (sounds familier??? - yes, it is...Newtons first law..."Every particle continues to be in a state of ...blah blah! Now we know whom to blame for the gloomy mondays;) Also, I can hear my Physics prof breathe a sigh of releif - I can remember something of his blabbering!)
Well, all this is fine, but the big question still is, why does the mind feel the need to resist the change? I guess over a period of time, the monotony of the working week takes its toll on the mind and so the weekend is where the mind can relax and not worry about meeting deadlines. But still there are unanswered questions like "Why does not the same theory work for transition from Friday to Saturday?? (Friday evening blues!! - that's never gonna happen)". The only answer to that probably is to look at it the other way round...What if we had 2 working days and 5 day weekends? Would I still wake up to a gloomy Monday morning? Well, I think so! That's a definite possibility!
Now, how to overcome this??? After much deliberation, I have decided that the only way to embrace Mondays is to give the mind what it requires. Newton comes up with the answer again!! (yes, it is the second part of Newtons first law - "....blah blah...unless acted upon by an external force") in short, a kick on the backside to the mind .i.e give the mind something new/nice to think about. Maybe a new challenge, maybe pursue an old passion, devote time for a hobby etc. This will break the monotony of the working week and will give the mind something fresh and nice to work on!
It works!!! At least I have realized that this is a good way to motivate myself to follow other goals/passions other than the ones at work and it is definitely a better way to start the week. Infact, it is a good feeling to wake up everyday knowing that you have multiple things to look forward to! :) It does get the mind going!!
Now you know why I started to write again!
I hope u r not reading this half-baked post of mine on a Monday morning...atleast, I do not want to contribute towards your blues!..haha!
Stopping the nonsense now ... will be back with more soon!
A brush in hand, I stare into the mirror, my eyes still trying to focus in the glow of the bulb ... sending cryptic signals to my brain about the shadowy figure in front of them; My brain - yes, its still dreaming - happily resting against the comfort of my skull.
No wonder, it took me 2 mins to drag myself from the bed to the washroom!
As I mechanically move my hand to and fro...brushing my teeth, the eyes look up at the hazy relfection in front of them, they are still sleepy and just want to go shut and drift away in to fairyland! ... fairyland ... ahaaa! what a temptation ... and my mind begins to wander! HEY! KNOCK KNOCK!! STOPPPP!... all of a sudden my brain wriggles itself up and is taking control! The bubble is burst and my mind has to stop its flow of thoughts...scrreeeeeaaaccchhhh! POOF!!!!
"U silly mind...Stop it - You are not suppossed to be doing these things now!! Fairlyland, my foot!!! It's a Monday Morning!!!! It's time to SULK!"
Well, there you go ... I am wake to my senses, brushing stopped and still staring at my reflection but with wide open eyes; and yes, that defintiely is a worry line on my forehead :(
Monday Morning blues - aaahhhh!! How I despise those mornings. Every action on a Monday morning tends to be so laborius and there just does not seem to be any energy flowing in the veins. I usually drag myself to office. But there is one thing I always enjoy on a Monday Morning at office - the look on everyone's face! Let me tell you, its immensely pleasurizing to look at people's faces on a monday morning - the look says it all. Can you imagine how you would react if you woke up in the middle of Sahara with just 'a bottle of water' or you jumped of a 'plane in mid flight' and forgot the chute! Well, you dont have to go far to see such expressions, just make sure you drag yourself to work and look up at people's faces on a monday morning. You will definitely see some priceless expressions. It reassures me that I am not the lone lunatic on this planet.
But every now and then, there comes someone and says "Hello! Good Morning" with a broad smile and all of a sudden my brain has to furiously broadcast signals and my entire body has to react to camouflage my internal feelings and successfully return the greeting - "err... Good Morning!". But, internally it's helter skelter inside my body...what a crazy nut (read - sane person). How can someone be so vibrant and cheerul on a Monday Morning! Unless, unless ofcourse, he is in fairlyland :) yes, yes with a few fairies; maybe more than a few fairies...ahem! (There goes my mind again!). Getting back to reality...I still ponder, how is it possible? Why am I not so thrilled about it being a Monday. I don't feel the same on a Tuesday, Wednesday...! What if it is a Monday? Infact my brain starts painting a gloomy picture from Sunday afternoon! Spoilsport!!!
Wanting to get to the bottom of this... I had a private discussion with my brain (read - self introspection). Let me tell you a bit about this guy - he has been with me from the time I can think of (except for the time when I fell in love and got married!!) and has been pretty efficient throughout. After all the analysis, we came to the conclusion that this whole Sunday evening-monday morning blues is nothing but the laziness of the mind in switiching gears! The mind is in a state of inertia and just lazy to switch back to the working mode, it is this friction that causes the blues! (sounds familier??? - yes, it is...Newtons first law..."Every particle continues to be in a state of ...blah blah! Now we know whom to blame for the gloomy mondays;) Also, I can hear my Physics prof breathe a sigh of releif - I can remember something of his blabbering!)
Well, all this is fine, but the big question still is, why does the mind feel the need to resist the change? I guess over a period of time, the monotony of the working week takes its toll on the mind and so the weekend is where the mind can relax and not worry about meeting deadlines. But still there are unanswered questions like "Why does not the same theory work for transition from Friday to Saturday?? (Friday evening blues!! - that's never gonna happen)". The only answer to that probably is to look at it the other way round...What if we had 2 working days and 5 day weekends? Would I still wake up to a gloomy Monday morning? Well, I think so! That's a definite possibility!
Now, how to overcome this??? After much deliberation, I have decided that the only way to embrace Mondays is to give the mind what it requires. Newton comes up with the answer again!! (yes, it is the second part of Newtons first law - "....blah blah...unless acted upon by an external force") in short, a kick on the backside to the mind .i.e give the mind something new/nice to think about. Maybe a new challenge, maybe pursue an old passion, devote time for a hobby etc. This will break the monotony of the working week and will give the mind something fresh and nice to work on!
It works!!! At least I have realized that this is a good way to motivate myself to follow other goals/passions other than the ones at work and it is definitely a better way to start the week. Infact, it is a good feeling to wake up everyday knowing that you have multiple things to look forward to! :) It does get the mind going!!
Now you know why I started to write again!
I hope u r not reading this half-baked post of mine on a Monday morning...atleast, I do not want to contribute towards your blues!..haha!
Stopping the nonsense now ... will be back with more soon!
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